Early Adopter

I'm a goddamned idiot.

Sun, 19 Mar 2006 08:54:56 GMT

So. Been watching the 1st season of Arrested Development.

All I can say is:

AYIIEEEEE!!!!!!!

WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T I WATCH THIS?! IT'S AWESOME!

If Showtime doesn't pick the show up, I will hunt down their CEO, rape him, shoot him, and rape him again.

Memo to whole world:

Sat, 18 Mar 2006 15:19:33 GMT

GO SEE V FOR VENDETTA.

NOW.

That is all.

Wed, 15 Mar 2006 13:07:14 GMT

So. Hayes quit South Park.

OF FUCKING COURSE this has everything to do with the "Trapped In The Closet" episode (which he previously denied having a problem with). He doesn't like the "growing insensitivity" but hangs around for EIGHT GODDAM YEARS until they malign his pet cult?

Also, I just love how he references the Danish Muhammad cartoons like there's any sort of comparison. Get over yourself.

So, much as I loved Chef, I can only say: GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE. Shit, the character was barely on the show anymore as it was. No loss whatsoever.

P.S.: OMFG THAT'S GREAT AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH--AHKKK (aneurysm)(dies)

The penny drops...

Sat, 04 Mar 2006 09:59:27 GMT

What the fuck does it take to get the shit beaten out of you these days?

I should explain: for the better part of a month I have been wearing four buttons on my jacket, obtained from a local comic-book store (which is, for unrelated reasons, On Notice, BTW). I shall describe them in reverse order of importance:

One reads "I suppose saying 'FUCK YOU' would be unprofessional." The next is a Happy Bunny button reading "Hi. Eat Me."

Here's where it starts getting good, however. The next is a plain black button reading "When is evolution going to eliminate the Christian Right?" in big white letters. Considering my town is also the residence of a minister who is the next thing to a Neo-Nazi, this should be inflammatory enough.

The last, however, is the very best of all. Again plain black, again the white letters. This one reads simply "FUCK BUSH."

Like I said, I'm going into my fourth week of wearing these things. So far, precisely TWO people have commented on them.

Both positively.

What.

The.

FUCK?!

I mean, YES I know I live in a college town and YES this is the only town in this state which isn't a complete cesspit, but this is IDAHO ferfucksake. One of the Reddest Of The Red. (That said, it's NOTHING compared to Utah, which I visited but once more than a decade ago; my liver still struggles to purge the toxins.) My knuckles should be permanently bloodied from having to fight my way out of every eatery and mercantile establishment in town. I should be continually subjected to the malodorous malt-and-hops breath of gluttonous peasants in John Deere hats and Pantera T-shirts, too stupid to realize how this supposedly anti-gay President has been cornholing them every day for the last six years. I should be...

Fuck, you get the idea. Even the pissant Mormon in my gaming group hasn't said anything about it.

I expected so much less from you, Idaho. Hell, maybe I'll head back to Orofino one of these days--maybe then I'll get the lynch mobs I've been expecting.

Also: Did I give my phone number to a psychopath? Details later!

HE knows what he did.

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 09:13:09 GMT

God damn it.

Why can't I let this GO?

(not the jazz thing. Something else entirely.)

Where did he run off to?

Sun, 26 Feb 2006 09:44:37 GMT

Dear Jazz Aficionados:

I had to work on a Saturday.

All thanks to you.

Fuckers.

Awwww.

Thu, 16 Feb 2006 15:54:16 GMT

Rest in peace, G'Kar.

Never whistle while you're pissing.

Wed, 15 Feb 2006 16:51:23 GMT

I just got finished listening to a Bad Religion CD. I've come to an epiphany of sorts: Green Day DOES suck. Just utterly ball-less. American Idiot was a return of sorts to the relatively-good old days, but this band has never been anything but the vanguard of the accursed punk-pop movement. Just look at some of the crap that followed them--Yellowcard? Listen douchebags, having a fiddler in your group doesn't make you any less tritely whorish. Good Charlotte? "Ooh look at us, we give Clear Channel blowjobs but our hair's all spiky so that makes us SO PUNK!" Pricks. Speaking of pricks, the less said about noted intersexual Avril Lavigne, the better. These and all the groups like them are what people somehow manage to call "punk" without shitting a brick-oven in laughter.

And it's all your fault, Green Day. It's simultaneously on your head AND laying at your feet--that's how much your fault this is. You are hereby banished from my MP3 collection. You come on the radio, it gets turned down. You come on TV, my headphones go on. May the flagship punk bands of future generations dig up your corpses and put them on trial for your crimes before unceremoniously dumping them in the nearest river. The Lord Of The Braineaters has spoken.

P.S. Your singer sounds like a bagpipe raping a cat.

It begins...

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 14:53:12 GMT

Well. I finally took the plunge. Blogosphere, here I come. And I promise that's the last time I'll say that stupid fucking word.
In the highly unlikely event anyone notices me, the following people will be welcomed with open arms:
--RPG players
--people who agree with me
--people who INTELLIGENTLY disagree with me
--people who think I'm awesome
--intelligent liberals
--intelligent conservatives
--people with some goddamn taste
--pirates
--The folks at the Bad Movie Message Board

And by "intelligent" I mean "can spell." Oh, and "doesn't just recite White House press releases like they were their own opinions."

And the following people will be viciously mocked or, worse, ignored:
--Fantasy Football players. And you probably think D&D players are losers. Fuck off.
--Neocons. Fuck off.
--Bush supporters. Fuck off.
--Hippies. Fuck off.
--Iraq war opponents who were all for it until their OWN kid got killed. Fuck off.
--Anime fans who'll watch ANYTHING just 'cuz it comes from Japan. Fuck off.
--People who get their news from Fox. Fuck off.
--Michael Crichton. Fuck off.
--Munchkins. Fuck off.

These lists are, at best, tentative and by no means set in granite.

Furthermore--and this is very important--UNLESS THEY DIRECTLY INVOLVE ME, PERSONALLY, I AM OFFICIALLY NEUTRAL IN ANY AND ALL LJ DRAMAS. Sorry for the all-caps, just wanted to make that Crystal Gravy-clear.

That's about it for now. Have fun, and no running near the pool.